This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
