that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize