Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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