I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize