how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
