I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
