Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
The best revenge is premature balding
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize