im gay
i know
yea but for you.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
