He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
