It's Friday. Sex?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize