Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
