i think i have two assholes
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
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