I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
