i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
