need another drink. this is the easiest way
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
