we have officially lost it.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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