I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
