thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
