i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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