I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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