the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Brb crying the tears of my youth
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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