All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
