is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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