plz talk dirty to me
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
