glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
