She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Fuck me I smell like cheese
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
