dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize