Nicole vs. Life
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I will pee on everything he values.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
