if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
