I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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