i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
