I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize