Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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