evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
