also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
