you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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