It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
