We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
