Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
