I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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