DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
