Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
