when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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