"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
