I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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