found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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