is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
