Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Farmville is her only friend.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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