Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize