We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize