dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I love how my cats smell like pot.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Randomize
