I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
