I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
