Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
