Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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