Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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