I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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