Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
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