it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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