They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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