Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
