I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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