You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize