if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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