You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize