Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
