whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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